She seemed to sense that I could not move. She told me that I could change right here or in the bathroom. I guess that was my only choice…not whether I did it but where I did it. Mary had already decided that I was going to do it.
It seemed like the more in control and in charge she was, the weaker I became.
I knew that the men she dated would not have been asked to do this. And if by chance they were, they would of course refuse! She looked at them differently than me.
Mary made me stand up as she unbuckled my jeans and tugged them down. I stood there like a rag doll not helping but unable to fight. She almost forced me to undress.
She went to her dresser and opened her top drawer. Out came a lot of things… slips, bras, a dress and some other lingerie. It all happened so fast!
I thought…if I “let” her do this she would never ever see me as an equal again. Not that she ever did, but she would always know that she did this to me and that I let her.
Then Mary did this maneuver where she pulled a half slip up my legs while I still had on my “male underwear.” I remember her saying something about not needing to be shy. She held the slip open and then did the exact same thing with the panties. I felt like I had to step in to them. Well, either step in or object. Of course you know that I could not do that latter. I was not strong enough. I had to do what she wanted.
Basically, Mary used me that day as her dress up doll…probably for a half an hour anyway. She laughed a lot and made me try on different things. I was totally humiliated!
She would never see me as a man. I felt like her property. Like her toy. I was so embarrassed. I knew that it was never going to be the same and there was certainly no going back.
I guess I felt like she owned me. Before Mary, I would not have believed one person could own another. But this really was how it felt to me. And somehow, my small endowment seemed connected to all of it…it just did.
But as humiliating as this experience was, something felt right. I really can’t explain it but something felt very, very deeply right. Mary helped me to see who I was that day…my true self.
My weakness…her strength…it was SO very real!
Joy & Love,
Goddess Mandy 🙂 XO