I thought that this would be really fun to talk about! Why you ask?!? Well for starters, I think it’s something that we all can relate to. I believe that we all likely do it at least somewhat, at least sometimes, or have at least at some point in time.
So, what does it mean to live vicariously? I’m sure we all know, but here are a couple of ways to think about it…
“Experienced or felt by empathy with or imaginary participation in the life of another person.” (thefreedictionary.com)
“Experienced or gained by the loss or to the consequence of another person, rather than through first-hand experience, such as through watching or reading.” (wiktionary.org)
I think there are times that perhaps it makes sense to live vicariously. But, I feel if this is the manner in which you live your life, day to day, it could be way less than ideal. Because then I would need to ask you…”Whose life are you really living…your best friend’s…your child’s…the CEO at your company, some young handsome stud movie-star??” Perception is quite often not reality.
So, I will challenge you to look at your perception. Are you living YOUR life or living vicariously through someone else’s?
If you’re taking a step away from your life to explore a fantasy or daydreaming to relax and enjoy a summer afternoon then the benefits of such actions are clear. However, if we let such vicarious thoughts consume too much of our own personal lives then we move into the dangerous realm of losing ourselves as we try to live a life that is not our own.
Like many things in our lives, when taken in small doses it can be helpful. But in larger doses may do harm. Living vicariously fits this description to a tee.
While fantasies can be enhancing we mustn’t let them become all consuming. If your fantasies so subsume you that you’re no longer sure who you are…they may have gone to far.
In the words of Polonius….”To thine own self be true.”
Thank You Goddess for yet another thought inspiring topic. You have often been so spot on saying what i need to hear here, i’m wondering what part of this applies to me. There were times as an adolescent when i tried to be someone else. However, for 30 plus years of adulthood i lead the type of life others could only envy: camping in the triple canopy jungle of Panama; pulling a sled across the muskeg in Alaska; spending the night in a snow cave at -32; saving lives; mitigating pain and suffering; making a six figure salary; feeding a voracious sexual appetite…Yeah, in hind sight it was a very exciting and fulfilling life.
Then i got old and drastically had my opportunities to get paid to do these things reduced. Since then, i have basically been enduring life for a while now. i think You can see the fruits of all Your TLC over the past four plus years is starting to show the fruits of Your nurturing as i seek to reclaim the value of those past experiences. i agree that there are times when many people i’m acquainted with think my relationship with You, Ms. Delia, and others is permitting my fantasies to “consume me”, and may perceive i am living “vicariously. Such is there loss for never having achieved such wonderful relationships under
constrained circumstances. Do i fantasize? Of course i do. However, even if i’m reading or watching porn, i still see myself as the star of the feature. Yes, i do share my fantasies with You, and often get to act them out during our naughty sessions. However, what others can not comprehend is the physical, emotional, and conscious bond we have for one another that takes a fantasy role and turns it into an energetic reality.
i know the chances of us ever meeting are slim to none. Yet, i also know i have been extremely blessed to have You as “my” best friend through some of the most challenging times in my life. That is not vicarious, just an infrequent kindness of Karma. Thanks for being You and all You do to share Your loving energy with all of us who are Your fans.
I agree with this. I love dressing up having calls with all of the mistresses as they’ve dressed/turned and kept me as a girl. It’s perfect way to end day or to just get away from real life. I never let this go into the real world. My masseuse also told me to be me and not try to be someone else. Bad new with the coffe shop it looks like it’s dead dog as I don’t have the finances. I thought I did but I misunderstood on what I had and I don’t. She put in all the work effort to get this going and she’s really sad about this as am I. I apologized to her about my misunderstanding and don’t want to have our friendship ruined or ended because of this. She did understand but was clearly upset/disappointed about this. She said wanted to do this for me and that’s the worst part is letting her down. I’m going to tell her if she wants to take me dress shopping where I’ll be wearing dress/bra/panties/my self getting makeover with her to make up for this. Hopefully she will still want to do this.
The 2 girls I’ve been friends with is going strong but one has hots for me as she was upset with me for talking about the other girl who I have hots for and her bff. She said she felt low man on totom pole and wasn’t happy as she ripped me a new one. I felt bad but glad she said this. I apologized to her and she luckily accepted. She said she wants to know more about me and after she said this I feel she wants to take control and turn friendship into relationship. I feel I need to open up to her about this as she did with me and I got that vibe she wants to control me. I’m fine with this as I do want to be in female lead relationship with her & her friend. I want to tell both this but afraid they won’t be interested. None know of my dressing in women’s clothes as that will have to be brought up but my masseuse said I can keep that to myself. If one/both want to be in control of me in female lead relationship I’m fine with that as it will make me happier and under their control. It’s what I want and hope they do to.
It is obvious we cannot experience everything in the limited time we have. So experiencing it vicariously is what happens when everything else fails. Also due to means, current position in life, or other circumstances living vicariously may seem like a positive experience only if you are doing it for the right reasons, as a motivator in your own life and not an excuse.